Finding yourself

I think globally now there is a shift taking place. A shift in awareness. More and more people are becoming aware of themselves and their environment. This increased awareness, in turn, results in deep questioning. Questioning everything, who am I, why am I here, what is my purpose?

The aim of this blog post isn’t to answer these questions for you, in fact, I do not believe anything outside of yourself can answer these questions for you. Reading books, articles and autobiographies can take you a long way and point you in the right direction, but ultimately the questions have to be answered on a visceral level rather than just on an intellectual level. Finding yourself, getting to know the essence that is you is the single most intimate and fulfilling act of self-love.

Restlessness

It all starts with restlessness. At least that’s how it started for me. An inability to enjoy things you used to in the past.  Feeling a deep sense of dissatisfaction with where you are in your life. Becoming a bit distant and constantly questioning, questioning, questioning.. EVERYTHING. Now before you say, my darling this is basically depression, let me clarify. Depression has the propensity of making a person feel as if they are under this big black cloud of sadness that they can’t escape from. Restlessness is different in the sense that you’re not really sad, things are actually probably going really well for you but you just don’t really see the point of certain things anymore. It’s like all of a sudden you wake up and feel like you’ve been living your life half asleep all this time. Some social events and gatherings that you previously anticipated eagerly, now just feel pointless and empty. You start asking yourself things like; why do I do this? why do I think like this? why did I say this mean thing to this person? etc etc..

This is a scary period to go through because it’s just so personal. Nobody can really help you. And consider yourself very lucky if you find people around you who are willing to listen and try to understand.

If you are experiencing restlessness the best thing to do is first to understand what is happening. You are becoming more aware. You’re growing, and growing is never a comfortable experience. Take a curious approach with it, so for example say things like “I wonder what this is all about, it will be fun to find out” rather than “I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what my purpose it, I’m stuck, I’m lost etc etc” .

Just breathe, clarity will come soon.

Acceptance

Have you ever done something thinking that with this change your whole life would be fixed and complete, only to then discover that after the initial high period always follows a lower low period? Something like changing partners, moving country, purchasing expensive material possessions or undergoing some kind of surgery/treatment for example.

This happens because you felt the void, the restlessness and you attempted to fill it. And when you discovered that it actually didn’t fix your whole life, you’re left feeling deflated and helpless.

It happened to me, I thought that if I move country, somewhere warm, sunny, friendly people, fantastic Mediterranean cuisine and laid-back lifestyle,  surely that would fix everything. But no. You see, wherever you go, there you are. You take with you your mind, your insecurities, your doubts and fears. You can’t run. But what you can do is just accept. Accept it. Accept your life the way it is now. Accept your job whatever it is at the moment. Accept your partner, friends and family however they are, and most importantly accept yourself exactly the way you are right now.  With all your perceived flaws and all.

When you do this the most interesting thing happens. When you actually do it, not just saying to yourself “ok, I’m gonna accept myself”. When you actually commit to never say one more bad thing about yourself, never look at your reflection in disgust again, and cease complaining about your life. Then, you feel empowered.

And when you take action from this place of empowerment, that is when real change happens.

And only when you are in this place of empowerment will you have some clarity as for the big questions of life mentioned at the beginning. Because empowerment gives you perspective, where previously you could only see the confusion.

When you are empowered you are being your true authentic self. And if you stick around in this empowered state for long enough, you will be introduced to the most incredible, most lovable, most sincere, most resourceful person you have ever come across. You.

Awareness: Diary extract 1

This isn’t a guru-type post. It’s not a post where I tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, what you should think or how you should live your life. This is simply a very real, raw and honest account of an experience I had. The experience itself may not sound super mystical and extraordinary but its effect on me was exactly that, mystical and extraordinary.

The reason why I’m sharing it is in the hope that it may be of value to someone out there.

Diary extract:

Thursday 29th November – 3:02AM

What an early time to write. The best time, some people say. It’s when the noise of the world quietens enough for us to hear that inner voice. That’s not exactly why I’m awake though.  I’m basically having another episode of anxious insomnia… again! I’ve been tossing and turning with no success. Then, at precisely 2:59AM the TV went on by itself, with no image but just a light grey background, bright enough for me to open my eyes and see it and then it went off. And now the red light keeps flashing. This has never happened before. I was startled but I wouldn’t say scared. If anything, I felt a relief, that I’m not alone or at least I didn’t feel alone in that moment. Just trying to figure out what I was thinking about before this happened…I’m not quite sure but I sense that it was a little nudge for me to get up and write about the insight I had last night, well tonight. I was laying in bed with a head full of thoughts and then a kind of wave of clarity washed over me and suddenly I became aware that these thoughts being like a line of laundry, each piece of clothing representing a thought. The image of millions of “laundry lines” just zigging and zagging from every direction popped into my mind. These lines of thoughts are just passing by, they aren’t even mine! That one insight was enough to detach me from thoughts in that instance and see or more accurately,  realise, that all those “I’m this, I’m that, I need to do this, I should do that” they are all just thoughts. And they may very well not even be mine! – meaning that they are not originating from my essence/higher self/soul. That garbage ain’t mine, thanks! And then I became aware that this awareness that I’m having right now is actually who I am. The feeling I got at this moment can most accurately be compared to the feeling of relief. What a relief! To experience what its like to be you minus the judgements, minus the stupid thoughts going on in your mind all the time… talk about relief!! I think this is the first time in my life I experienced ME and was aware of it. And it was so good, it was so so good! Then, sensing an opportunity in the air, I asked the question, “what is the best way for me to navigate this world?” and the response I received by the brilliant, bright, intelligent, wise and loving self that is ME was “just be present in the moment, be aware of what is happening and simply respond to what the situation calls for and allow the energy to flow”. This makes sense to me as I’ve experienced this flow many times before especially when I’m at work and in the flow of things and have no time to consider myself and preoccupy myself with thoughts about what I might look like or what someone might be thinking about me. I am simply in the moment or more precisely I am the moment. I’m simply responding to what the moment calls for. This is when I do my best work and this is when I feel at the height of all heights! And then, in a glimpse, another wave of clarity washed over me. This time much more powerful and intense. The message was clear and it was “This is what you want! That flow. The feeling of the energy flowing through you. This is who you are and this energy flowing through you is what gives you life”. So I guess our job here is to get to know ourselves really well and find out what gets us into that flow and do that. And when you’re in that flow, no effort or motivation is required. No “hard work” is necessary because you’ve got the energy that creates worlds flowing through you, you’re powerful and you’re smart and you’re creative and when you project all that into what you are doing, that’s when miracles happen. That’s when you are fulfilling your potential and that’s when you’re living your best life!

 

100 Spiritual Thoughts by Peter Deunov

Peter Deunov (1864-1944) was a Bulgarian philosopher and spiritual teacher. He has touched the hearts of many with his wisdom and perspective on life and relationships.

Reading these short quotes brought me a sense of calm and comfort. Whether you’re feeling anxious or scared, or excited and happy I believe we could all benefit from these 100 little truths. The quotes are originally in Bulgarian. However, I thought it would be worthwhile for me to translate them here in the hope that they provide some benefit for somebody.

Enjoy!

  1. The very first rule, which you must apply to all of your relationships with others, is to look for and find one good trait of every person, the strongest one, the one which sets him/her apart from other people.
  2. Look for the good in every person and do not fear. As long as you keep your focus on the good of the person,  you will always be well-received by them. If you however, connect with a negative trait or characteristic of a person, you will unknowingly be setting yourself up against him. He/she will feel this and nothing good will come of this relationship.
  3. If you encounter an unreasonable or foolish person on your path, do not answer him according to his insanity. You are capable of maintaining your internal stability while dealing with such people.
  4. May others be well – then I will also be well. This is the maxim with which a person will overcome many struggles and difficulties in life.
  5. You ask what you need to do for others to love you. Do what the sun does. Shine. Shine bright!
  6. He who loves, gives. He who does not love, takes. This is how you will know who loves you and who does not.
  7. To love and to be loved – this is the meaning of life.
  8. Focus on service to others. There is a law which states “if you want more for others, you will be the first to benefit”.
  9. Freedom is dependent on the good that a person does.
  10. Happiness depends on the mind, heart and will of a person.
  11. If you want to have power in the world, first become a master of yourself and do not rush to subordinate people. If you become a master of yourself, many people will follow you. 
  12. Negativity is first born in the heart, then in the mind and it is finally materialised in the will.
  13. Do not get together with people who hold negative thoughts. You become like those, whom you spend time with.
  14. If you speak badly of others, you feed the negativity within you. If you feed the negativity within you, you will be the first to taste its poison.
  15. Do not speak of the bad side of a person. Speak only of the good or do not speak at all.
  16. What does it cost a person to keep his tongue from bad words, his mind from bad thoughts and his heart from bad emotions? He who withholds from negativity will be happy.
  17. Every day do something good for somebody. Every day say one good word to somebody.
  18. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing to do is to get joyful!
  19. Good thoughts attract good circumstances.
  20. Doing good is like a magic force with which man turns negative forces into positive ones. The law is: when you have obstacles, difficulties or illness, make a sacrifice and they will be eliminated.
  21. To involve yourself in other people’s drama is a dangerous infection. Drunkenness is impurity. Judgement, criticism, suspicion, greed, jealousy and dishonesty are all forms of impurity also.
  22. A good person gives, and he does not concern himself why he gave, to whom he gave, is the person he gave to deserving. He simply gives for the sake of giving.
  23. You must remove the negativity from all your past experiences and leave only the lessons that those experiences brought you.
  24. Love is the way through which happiness is attained.
  25. Love, and you will be loved.
  26. The meaning of life consists of you finding those who love you, and loving them back.
  27. Love is deaf to all bad, insulting words.
  28. Love, think, act!
  29. A love which cannot withstand all the difficulties and challenges of life is not real love.
  30. If two people love each other, nobody can do them harm.
  31. Everyone transforms, when he/she feels loved.
  32. When you love a being, even if they are far away, you love will protect, support and guard them.
  33. If we are not happy, the cause is within us.
  34. Anyone who’s tried to straighten the bad guy, has become a bad guy himself.
  35. Knowledge is only power if acted upon.
  36. We all want the world outside to fix itself. But, for the world outside to be fixed we must first tend to the world within.
  37. If you have even just one person whom you have not forgiven. He/she will forever trip you up in life. Forgive! Forgive all! Not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace.
  38. Do not give advice to the possessed. Do not do favours for the cunning. And do not say a word to the evil.
  39. Guard yourself against two-faced people. And from the hardheaded, stubborn and proud, stay well away.
  40. To make a wolf into a sheep do not try. Some things are beyond our capabilities.
  41. Do not take more than you need and do not give more than is needed.
  42. For everything you take, you must give and equal amount back.
  43. Be happy about the success of your friends. Rejoice in the success that has been gained through honest labour, with work, with perseverance. Only in this way will you uplift yourself also.
  44. The safest medicine is the human joy.
  45. We will be very unhappy if all of our wishes and dreams came true at once.
  46. When you declutter your outside world, you declutter your inside world.
  47. Modern people complain that they do not have big achievements, that they do not have success in their work. Why do they not have success? Becuase they expect more of others than they expect of themselves.
  48. If you want to have success in your life, look for it within yourself. The outside world presents only the conditions of life, and how you respond to those conditions defines the quality of your life.
  49. You can achieve any success if you have one strong focused thought. You have these thoughts when you have something concrete to focus upon. Thoughts are powerful! Think with purpose and on purpose.
  50. As long as we live each one for himself, we will not be successful.
  51. Some look for happiness in books. They read, and as they read they think the book has power, it will change their lives, they are happy while reading it. Once they finish the book however, they realise that the book itself does not have power. All a book can do for you is point to a path. Walking this path is how you will gain the benefits that the book speaks of, but unfortunately  most are not willing to walk the path.
  52. For a person to be successful in life he/she must possess the following qualities; tact, strength, observability, rationality and intuition. If these qualities are present, there will be good results no matter what the task is.
  53. Are you confident of your success through your thoughts and your feelings? It is not enough to just want success. Without confidence in what you are aiming for, there is no success.
  54. As long as you are alive, you must help one another. Without mutual assistance, there is no success in life.
  55. Where there is no love, there is no success, no blessing.
  56. If you have a good thought, do not ignore it. Act upon it straight away. It will lift you up.
  57. The wasting of time spoils life.
  58. Do not concern people with the same things again and again. Uniformity can be murderous.
  59. Do not take advice from the ignorant.
  60. Do not concern yourself with other people’s business.
  61. Do not concern yourself with the opinions of others.
  62. Do not allow another to interfere with your business. The same way you yourself do not interfere with anyone else’s business.
  63. Do not concern yourself with the personal lives of others. If you see two people fighting, do not judge them, do not try to find the cause of their dispute. Do not concern yourself with how another person lives, what he/she wears, what he/she eats. To concern yourself with the life of another before you confront yourself and your own personal issues, is a waste of time.
  64. Master self-control first. Anyone who concerns themselves with other peoples mistakes is sure to make them himself.
  65. When somebody says “I hate this person” he does not realise that he brings no harm onto that person. The only one who suffers is himself.
  66. When we are being provoked, we must remain silent.
  67. You are exactly the same as the person whom you are praising and the person whom you are bad-mouthing. So before you say a bad word, stop and think.
  68. The more love you give to a bad person the worse he becomes. Do not give negativity sustenance.
  69. If somebody cannot give you a nice, kind look, then you look at him in this way.
  70. You hear something? Don’t spread it around. Somebody insults you? Don’t go spreading that around either.
  71. Victory is in patience.
  72. Do not lie to others, so that they don’t lie to you.
  73. If a man deceives, something will surely come to him: either he will fall or become ill or someone will cause him some trouble.
  74. The little lies are the most harmful. The big lies are obvious nobody can hide them for long.
  75. He who rejoices in the small accomplishments is sure to achieve the big ones too.
  76. The magic is within the little things in life, not the big things.
  77. Right thought, right stand and right act. These are the conductors of the light.
  78. If somebody makes a mistake I will not judge him. I will help him, just as I will help a sick person.
  79. Do not talk unnecessary things. Do not think unnecessary things. Do not feel unnecessary things. Think, feel and act deliberately or not at all.
  80. A strong person does not complain and does not make excuses.
  81. Be friendly and kind. Compete only in doing good things for each other.
  82. If you think of the good, you will see light in your mind and you will feel warmth in your heart. If you think of the bad, you will see darkness in your mind and feel the coldness in your heart. You connect with whatever it is that you’re thinking about. Choose wisely.
  83. Say something nice to somebody and forget about it. Do not concern yourself with how he will respond, what he will think or whether he deserves it.
  84. Do not insult others and do not insult yourself. A wise person never insults himself.
  85. Somebody says something bad about you – do not worry. Your peace costs much more than what has been said. Whatever he/she said, is on his account.
  86. Whatever you think, you become.
  87. Some of you talk too much – this is one weakness. Some of you talk too little – this is another weakness. You must learn to know when to talk.
  88. When you hear some harsh words from your husband or wife say to yourself “There is something meaningful and valuable hidden in these words. I must find it and pull it out, discarding the harsh words it came packaged in”.
  89. Never speak from a negative point of view i.e. “Don’t lie, don’t steal” Speak only from a positive point of view i.e. “Speak the truth, be respectful” etc.
  90. He who forgives, thrives.
  91. Live each one for the other and you will all succeed.
  92. Do not focus on what mistakes you have made. Find the lesson you learnt from them and discard all else.
  93. Pure thoughts support the mind, pure feelings support the heart and pure actions and deeds support the will.
  94. If you want to love, you must not be afraid. If you want to be loved you must not doubt.
  95. If you want to know if a specific person loves you. Stop in your mind. If the thought of this person does not disappear from your mind he loves you. If you do not disappear from his/her thoughts you both love each other.
  96. When we have love, the whole world works for us. When we do not have it, nothing goes well.
  97. He who loves you can foresee all your needs ahead of time. He who loves you can heal you and he can teach you. To love is the greatest art.
  98. Love is the most important issue in life. If you solve this issue, you will solve all other issues.
  99. Love gives life. Wisdom gives knowledge. Truth gives freedom. Life gives joy.
  100. If you have one person who loves you, you are wealthier than the richest man on Earth.