I think globally now there is a shift taking place. A shift in awareness. More and more people are becoming aware of themselves and their environment. This increased awareness, in turn, results in deep questioning. Questioning everything, who am I, why am I here, what is my purpose?
The aim of this blog post isn’t to answer these questions for you, in fact, I do not believe anything outside of yourself can answer these questions for you. Reading books, articles and autobiographies can take you a long way and point you in the right direction, but ultimately the questions have to be answered on a visceral level rather than just on an intellectual level. Finding yourself, getting to know the essence that is you is the single most intimate and fulfilling act of self-love.
It all starts with restlessness. At least that’s how it started for me. An inability to enjoy things you used to in the past. Feeling a deep sense of dissatisfaction with where you are in your life. Becoming a bit distant and constantly questioning, questioning, questioning.. EVERYTHING. Now before you say, my darling this is basically depression, let me clarify. Depression has the propensity of making a person feel as if they are under this big black cloud of sadness that they can’t escape from. Restlessness is different in the sense that you’re not really sad, things are actually probably going really well for you but you just don’t really see the point of certain things anymore. It’s like all of a sudden you wake up and feel like you’ve been living your life half asleep all this time. Some social events and gatherings that you previously anticipated eagerly, now just feel pointless and empty. You start asking yourself things like; why do I do this? why do I think like this? why did I say this mean thing to this person? etc etc..
This is a scary period to go through because it’s just so personal. Nobody can really help you. And consider yourself very lucky if you find people around you who are willing to listen and try to understand.
If you are experiencing restlessness the best thing to do is first to understand what is happening. You are becoming more aware. You’re growing, and growing is never a comfortable experience. Take a curious approach with it, so for example say things like “I wonder what this is all about, it will be fun to find out” rather than “I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what my purpose it, I’m stuck, I’m lost etc etc” .
Just breathe, clarity will come soon.
Have you ever done something thinking that with this change your whole life would be fixed and complete, only to then discover that after the initial high period always follows a lower low period? Something like changing partners, moving country, purchasing expensive material possessions or undergoing some kind of surgery/treatment for example.
This happens because you felt the void, the restlessness and you attempted to fill it. And when you discovered that it actually didn’t fix your whole life, you’re left feeling deflated and helpless.
It happened to me, I thought that if I move country, somewhere warm, sunny, friendly people, fantastic Mediterranean cuisine and laid-back lifestyle, surely that would fix everything. But no. You see, wherever you go, there you are. You take with you your mind, your insecurities, your doubts and fears. You can’t run. But what you can do is just accept. Accept it. Accept your life the way it is now. Accept your job whatever it is at the moment. Accept your partner, friends and family however they are, and most importantly accept yourself exactly the way you are right now. With all your perceived flaws and all.
When you do this the most interesting thing happens. When you actually do it, not just saying to yourself “ok, I’m gonna accept myself”. When you actually commit to never say one more bad thing about yourself, never look at your reflection in disgust again, and cease complaining about your life. Then, you feel empowered.
And when you take action from this place of empowerment, that is when real change happens.
And only when you are in this place of empowerment will you have some clarity as for the big questions of life mentioned at the beginning. Because empowerment gives you perspective, where previously you could only see the confusion.
When you are empowered you are being your true authentic self. And if you stick around in this empowered state for long enough, you will be introduced to the most incredible, most lovable, most sincere, most resourceful person you have ever come across. You.